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* Subj :     . Re: Hare Krishna

 VG> , Kay!

 VG> MER Nov 23 1994,  22:31    Kay Ziatz  Vladimir
 VG> Guzhov   "Hare Krishna"...

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 VG>  , Vladimir Guzhov (JUP Nov 24 1994 15:20)

 VG> -!-
 VG>  ! Origin:        (2:5020/296.9)




  (comte@complife.net), http://yun.complife.net

Hello All!
   - :"   - , ..."
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      - 
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            -.
                 1993 .

                     
      ,    
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  .

 []
----------------------------------------------------------------

         FREQ c /143 (   Astrology
Club BBS)  danila.arj.

 ,
Vadim Petrakov




       .   "" - "".    
         .    ,   .
       .   .     - .   >:-(
         - : "LOOSE WEIGHT NOW ? ASK ME HOW !"


This is a set of some very funny jokes about the Pentium bug - hope
you get a chuckle from them:

[one note of explanation: F. Gump is a reference to Forrest Gump, the
recent movie]


From the local messages board of Bell Labs Murray Hill (stolen from America
On-Line):

Date: 29 Nov 1994 09:15:27 -0500
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf01.news.aol.com

Q&A:  THE PENTIUM FDIV BUG

Q:   How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:   1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.

Q:  What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a  research
grant?
A:   A mad scientist.

Q:  What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on
Pentiums?
A:  Warning label.

Q:  What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?
A:  Successive approximations.

Q:  Complete the following word analogy:  Add is to Subtract as
Multiply
is to
        1)  Divide
        2)  ROUND
        3)  RANDOM
        4)  On a Pentium, all of the above
A:  Number 4.


Q:  What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point
divider?
A:  "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)

Q:  Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
A:  Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got
585.999983605.

Q:  According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE standards
754 and 854 for floating point arithmetic.  If you fly in aircraft
designed using a Pentium, what is the correct pronunciation of
"IEEE"?
A:   Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!

TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
  9.9999973251   It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug
  8.9999163362   It's Close Enough, We Say So
  7.9999414610   Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
  6.9999831538   You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
  5.9999835137   Redefining the PC--and Mathematics As Well
  4.9999999021   We Fixed It, Really
  3.9998245917   Division Considered Harmful
  2.9991523619   Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
  1.9999103517   We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
  0.9999999998   The Errata Inside


 D> TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM
 D> -+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+---
 D>   9.9999973251   It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug
 D>   8.9999163362   It's Close Enough, We Say So
 D>   7.9999414610   Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
 D>   6.9999831538   You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
 D>   5.9999835137   Redefining the PC--and Mathematics As Well
 D>   4.9999999021   We Fixed It, Really
 D>   3.9998245917   Division Considered Harmful
 D>   2.9991523619   Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
 D>   1.9999103517   We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
 D>   0.9999999998   The Errata Inside

   :

      0.0000000156   Floating point Fixed!




  ,  -    
    , ,    
   .       
Reuter,       
   - "Online with Jesus".

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       .


                       
                            
                        

                         : !
                         ( )

                             , 1994

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      -   -  -
        :    .. .





(1)  Never leave diskettes in the drive, as the data can leak out
     of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive.
     Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.

(2)  Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week.
     Microscopic metal particles may be removed by waving a
     powerful magnet over the surface of the disk.  Any stubborn
     metal shavings can be removed with scouring powder and steel
     wool.  When waxing a diskette, make sure the surface is
     even.  This will allow the diskette to spin faster,
     resulting in better access time.

(3)  Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit into the drive.
     "Big" diskettes may be folded and used in "Little" drives.

(4)  Never insert a diskette into the drive upside down.  The
     data can fall off the surface of the disk and jam the
     intricate mechanics of the drive.

(5)  Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through a
     photocopy machine. If your data is going to need to be
     backed up, simply insert TWO diskettes into your drive.
     Whenever you update a document, the data will be written
     onto both disks.  A handy tip for more legible backup
     copies:  keep a container of iron filings at your desk.
     When you need to make two copies, sprinkle iron filings
     liberally between the diskettes before inserting them into
     the drive.

(6)  Diskettes should not be removed or inserted from the drive
     while the red light is on or flashing. Doing so could result
     in smeared or possibly unreadable text.  Occasionally, the
     red light remains flashing in what is known as a "hung" or
     "hooked" state.  If your system is hooking, you will
     probably need to insert a few coins before being allowed to
     access the slot.

(7)  If your diskette is full and needs more storage space,
     remove the disk from the drive and shake vigorously for two
     minutes.  This will pack the data enough (data compression)
     to allow for more storage.  Be sure to cover all openings
     with scotch tape to prevent loss of data.

(8)  Data access time may be greatly improved by cutting more
     holes in the diskette jacket.  This will provide more
     simultaneous access points to the disk.

(9)  Periodically spray diskettes with insecticide to prevent
     system bugs from spreading.


                                                Terry



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Alex Tihonov



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--- GoldED 2.41+
 * Origin:     -    (FidoNet 2:5057/4.5204)

 RU.ANEKDOT (2:5020/153.23)  RU.ANEKDOT 
 Msg  : 133 of 150                          K/s
 From : Michael Gusak                       2:5030/146.256  12 Jan 94  23:41:04
 To   : All                                                 16 Jan 94  13:41:48
 Subj : 

Hello All!
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Mikel

--- GoldED 2.42 beta, unregistered
 * Origin:       .    :-! (2:5020/35.1)

 HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23)  HUMOR.FILTERED 
 Msg  : 82 of 82                            K/s
 From : Michael Bravo                       2:5030/0        08 Feb 94  15:47:48
 To   : All                                                 09 Feb 94  07:27:34
 Subj : ,   .

Hello All!

Author   : Russell Street 

VAX Raphosdy
------------
Is this the real login:?
Is it a trap?
Caught on a terminal
No escape from the committee


Open your mail
Look up to the skies
And see...

I'm just a poor hacker,
I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
Little high, little low

Hit me where the wind blows,
Doesn't really matter to me, to me


Momma, just killed a VAX
Type a command into the shell,
Hit RETURN, now it's dead
Momma, my account had just begun
And now I've gone and thrown it all away
Momma, didn't mean to make you crash
If I'm not back on this time tomorrow
Hack on, hack on as if nothing really matters


Too late -- my time has come
Sent shivers down my spine
Bodies aching all the time
Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
Got to leave you all behind and face the truth

Momma, (every way the wind blows)
I don't wanna kicked off,
I sometimes wish I'd never logged on at all


UNIX* [To the tune of _Money_ by Pink Floyd]
----

UNIX, it's a gas;
grab that VAX with
both hands and
make it crash.

UNIX, it's a hit;
Don't give me that
PC DOS Bullshit.

I'm into well benchmarked
POSIX Open Systems
I think I need a RISC chip.

UNIX, jmp back;
I'm all niced now
pop your frame off of
my stack.

---
*UNIX is a trademark of AT&T


 UNIX Man  (to The Beatles' "Nowhere Man")
 --------

 He's a real UNIX Man
 Sitting in his UNIX LAN
 Making all his UNIX .plans
 For nobody

 Knows the blocksize from 'du'
 Cares not where /dev/null goes to
 Isn't he a bit like you
 And me?

 UNIX Man, don't worry
 It's the tube that's blurry
 UNIX Man
 The new kernel boots, just like you had planned

 He's as wise as he can be
 Programs in lex, yacc and C
 UNIX Man, can you help me
 At all?

 UNIX Man, please listen
 My printout is missin'
 UNIX Man
 The wo-o-o-orld is your 'at' command


Title    : The Alternative Wall
Original : The Wall
Group    : Pink Floyd
Author   : ?
Intro    : Here's a set of pseudosongs which is the
           result of several long
           drunken nights talking on a bulletin board
           between London &
           Aberystwyth (220+ miles apart)... circa 1988.
Song     :

                          The Alternative Wall:-

 Established by:-   Anarchy, Atropos, White,
               Roadrunner>>>++>>, & Giant Hogweed.

Nobody On
---------

I got keyboard corns on my fingers,
I got a Ethernet Pad for a brain,
I got a VDU to prop up my mortal remains.

My programs always fail,
I got a strong urge to MAIL
But I got no-one to MAIL to,
MAIL to,
MAIL to..

Oh, babe, when I send down the phone,
There's still nobody on...

                      The Alternative Wall, Part Two.

Does anybody here remember DEC?
Remember how the manual
Was useless to me
In every way.

UNIX, what has become of you?
Can any other O/S be quite as slow as you...

                     The Alternative Wall, Part Three.

The Trial
---------

Good Morning, ROOT, your honour,
The dump will plainly show the user who now stands before
you
Was caught red-handed in the system
Crudely hacking in a truly vicious nature
This will not do!
CALL THE LOGFILE!

"I always said he'd come to no good didn't I, ROOT, your
honour,
If they let me have my way I'd have him banned from the
VAX!
But my hands were tied,
The bleeding hearts and artists
Not to mention the Dave Prices
Wouldn't let me throw him off!"

-- Dedicated to Atropos The Wanderer.

                        The Alternative Wall, Part Four.

The UNIX Login Software
-----------------------

Is there anybody out there?

(repeat ad nauseam)

                        The Alternative Wall, Part Five.

One of My Hacks
---------------
Log onto the system
On that lurid green screen
You'll find there's no response!

Don't look so frightened,
this is just a passing crash,
One of my bad hacks!

Would you like to watch TV,
Well, that's no use to me
I want to watch you squirm
As you try to get logged on!

Do you want to call the OPS,
Do you think it's time I stopped?
Why are you running away?

                       The Alternative Wall, Part Six.

Filled Up Spaces / What Shall We Do Now?
----------------------------------------

What shall we use to trash
The filled up spaces on the archive tape?

How should I hack and leave no traces,
How shall the system completely fall?

                      The Alternative Wall, Part Seven.

Uncomfortably Numb
------------------
Hello, is there anybody on here?
I'm here but can you see me?
Is there anyone at home?
C'mon now, I hear that MIST is down,
I can ease the pain, maybe bring it up again.

Relax, I need some information first,
Just the basic facts, have you hacked the system Snurt?

There is no shell, your call is clearing,
The distant chips smoke on the breadboard,
You are only coming through off pads,
Your fingers move but I can't see what you're typing.

When I was a child I caught a virus,
My filebase swelled just like two balloons
Now I've got that feeling once again,
I can't explai(core dumped), you would not understand,
This is not how I am.
I have become uncomfortably numb.

                      The Alternative Wall, Part Eight.

In a Flash
----------
So ya
Thought ya
Might like to
Go to the show
To feel the thrill of board hacking,
That luminescent glow.

I've got some bad news for you, sunshine
OPS not around, 'cos Node 5 is down,
And they sent us along, they've gone to the bar,
And we're going to find out who you guys
Really are.

Have we got any oppos on the system tonight?
Grep 'em up against the wall.
There's one on Bullet,
He don't look right to me,
Grep him up agaist the wall.
That one's called Badger,
And that one's Tyrone,
Who let all this riffraff on their own;
There's one smoking a joint and
Another with sandals?
If I had my way
I'd have all of you shot.


Waiting for the Sun   (by Jamie Mason, to the Doors tune of the same name)
-------------------

At first flash of daylight,
We're still hacking in C.
Sitting there
Bashing one last Bug

Waiting for the Sun,
Waiting for the Sun,
Waiting for the Sun.

Can't you feel it,
Now that work is due,
That it's time to
Fight for some CPU

Waiting for the Sun,
Waiting for the Sun,
Waiting for the Sun.

Waiting   for   the   Sun.

Waiting...   Waiting...   Waiting...   Waiting...
Waiting...   Waiting...   Waiting...   Waiting...

Waiting for Make is
Such a bore.
Waiting for a.out to
Stop dumping core...
Waiting for some cycles
All day long.
Waiting for adb to tell me what went wrong.

This is the strangest
Bug I've ever   known.

Can't you feel it,
Now that work is due,
That it's time to fight
For some CPU

Waiting for the Sun,
Waiting for the Sun,
Waiting for the Sun.

Waiting   for   the   Sun.



Gateway To Heaven

There's a lady who knows
All the systems and nodes
And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven
She telnets there, she knows
All the ports have been closed
With a nerd she can get
Files she came for

Woohoohoo
Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo
And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven
There's an motd
But she wants to be sure
Cos she knows sometimes hosts have
Two domains
In a path by the NIC
There's a burdvax that pings
Sometimes all of our flames
are cross-posted

Woohoohoo
Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo
And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven
And it's processed by root
Unix Labs will reboot
NCR will then listen to reason
And a prompt will respawn
For those yet to logon
And the networks will echo much faster

Woohoohoo
Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo
And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven
If there's a lookup in your netstat
don't be .alarmed now
it's just a pinging from the link queen
Yes there are two routes you can type in
but in the long run
there's still time to change the net you're on
(I hope so!)

And as we find stuff to download
We ftp and we chmod
There was a sysadm we know
Who changed the server to her own
She had root privs and she used chown
She hacked out on the DDN
And if you tail her stdin
Then you will find what you had lost
And get it back with cpio
To be a hack and not to scroll...

And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven





  In the RAM
  where I was forked,
  lived a ROM,
  who sailed the C...

  And he told,
  me of his life,
  in the Berkeley,
  4.3...

  We all live in the Berkeley 4.3,
  Berkeley 4.3, Berkeley 4.3.
  We all live in the Berkeley 4.3,
  Berkeley 4.3, Berkeley 4.3.

    ((c) White the Wizard productions Ltd, 1987)


    Cycles For Nothing

(i want my i want my i want my X-MP!) Now look at them yo-yo's that's the way you do it You run the fortran on the X-MP That ain't hackin' that's the way you do it Cycles for nothin', gigabits for free Now that ain't hackin' that's the way you do it Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb Maybe Monte Carlo on a three-quark system Maybe design a little neutron bomb We gotta install microwave uplinks Custom fuzzballs for everyone We gotta link up DDS circuits BERT and loopback tests to run See the kid professor with the blue jeans and the necktie Yeah buddy that's his own hair That kid professor got his Nobel prize now That kid professor he's a millionaire We gotta install microwave uplinks Custom fuzzballs for everyone We gotta link up DDS circuits BERT and loopback tests to run I shoulda stuck to writing in fortran I shoulda kept that old 029 Look at that output, he got it stacked up to the ceilin' I bet he ain't read one line And in there, what's that? A hundred postdocs? Bangin' on the keyboards like some chimpanzees That ain't hackin' that's the way you do it Cycles for nothin', gigabits for free We gotta install microwave uplinks Custom fuzzballs for everyone We gotta link up DDS circuits BERT and loopback tests to run by Matt Crawford

    Software for Nothing

==================== by: Brent CJ Britton With appoligies to Mark Knopfler. I waaaant my.. I waaaant my... I waaaant my C-R-T...... Now look at them hackers, That's the way ya' do it. Ya' play with mem'ry that you cannot see. Now that ain't workin, that's the way ya do it. Get your software for nothing and your chips for free. Now that ain't workin, gotta CPU-it. Let me tell ya, them guys ain't dumb. Maybe crash the system with your little finger, Maybe crash the system with your thumb. We got to install micro-data-bases, Gotta make things run like a breeeeze. We gotta help these foreign students, We gotta help these mindless E.E.'s... The little Hacker with the Pepsi and the Munchos: Yeah, buddy, don't like to SHARE... The little Hacker got his own compiler, The little guy don't change his underwear. We got to install the latest debugger, Under budget, and optimiiiiiiized. We got to have more muddy-black coffee, We got a green glow in our eyyyyyyes... I shoulda' learned to play with Pascal. I shoulda' learned to program some. Look at that drive, I'm gonna stick it on the channel, Man, it's better than the old one... And who's up there, what's that? Beeping noises? He's bangin on the keyboard like a chimpanze. Oh that aint workin, that's the way ya do it, Get your software for nothin', get your chips for free.

    Tap my wire (the more's)

You know that I would be untrue You know that I would be a 'foo' If I was to say to you We couldn't hack ourselves to root Come on hackers tap a wire Come on hackers tap a wire Try to set the mode-bits higher The time to sit and watch is gone No time to linger in the shell Try to make crack-programs run Yes we will make the tty's bell Come on hackers tap a wire Come on hackers tap a wire Try to set the mode-bits higher

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    Origins

$ Origin: Data error read drive A: Abort, Retry or what?_ (2:5020/26) $ Origin: ? ! (2:5020/26) $ Origin: , ! (2:5020/26) $ Origin: , . (2:5020/26) $ Origin: ... (2:5020/26) -=- $ Origin: <- -> (2:5020/26) $ Origin: , , ! ... (2:5020/26) -=- ! $ Origin: , , ! (2:5020/26) -=- - , . $ Origin: -... (2:5020/26) -=- -, ! $ Origin: ... (2:5020/26) -=- , ... $ Origin: ! (2:5020/26) -=- . -=-> $ Origin: <-=- (2:5020/26) -=- $ Origin: $ Origin: (2:5020/26) -=- . - ... $ Origin: ... , . (2:5020/26) $ Origin: Enter new byte lenght [7..9]? _ (2:5020/26) R>> . ? (: R>> Silicon Dragon :) BP> , , ? , BP> . 2 - ? 4-5 - 1- 8-! .. , , . .

    National Condom Week

Slogans Cover your stump before you hump. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker. Don't be a loner, cover that boner. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter. You won't get sick if you wrap your dick. If you go into heat, package your meat. If you take off her skirt and blouse, wrap that trouser mouse. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool. Don't be in such a jiffy, cover your stiffy. AIDS is no joke, be sure to wrap before you poke. Even though you're tired and sleepy, take the time to wrap your pee-pee. You know you shouldy wear a condom on that woody.

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: 30, Last-modified: Fri, 26 Nov 1999 06:33:41 GMT